Friday, April 25, 2008

Well, I can finally talk about it

I could go into great detail about the details of the last eight plus months of my life. However, not too much would be served by a novel about things. Here are the details in a nut shell.

First, my wife, Teresa, and I have been separated for going on nine months now. She left after getting caught for yet a fourth time in an internet and this time in person romance. This time it was with her former fiance, whom she knew before she ever met me. She and I were married 12.5 years before she left. November 18th would have been our 13th wedding anniversary.

I could have dealt with that fine except that she decided to falsely make a claim of domestic violence and took out a restraining order upon me. Since I am a firearms enthusiast, it really irked me in that I had to give up every gun I owned at the time until that restraining order was resolved. Forget the fact that it violates both the 2nd and the 4th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution. It is also just patently unfair in that it is an ex parte order, meaning from ONE party.

I had to hire a lawyer in the county in which the order was requested, which was not even the correct jurisdiction. She took almost four days after leaving to file the order, which tells me that she had to have been talked into it. If her life was in danger, she should have contacted the local authorities and filed the order here in Johnston County.

Anyway, long story short, I hired a lawyer and won my case. The judge found no credibility in the story presented by Teresa and found both me and my witness to be very credible. That is as it should be. There are so many details to tell, but the bottom line is that I won my case and justice was served. It still cost me $1000 in legal fees and three trips to Asheboro to fight it, but it was worth it. I was vindicated.

The sad thing is that some political opportunists took that story (and I think I know from whence it came and spread. I can count on one hand how many people in this town knew I was separated, much less about the restraining order) and made it into the lie that I was a wife beater and that is the reason I was getting a divorce. That smear campaign really cost me dearly in the last election.

Actually, I don't mind losing the election, since so many things came out of that time period. Once women found out that I was single again, I was asked out by several of them. Three different women asked me out fairly early on. In the first three months, I went out with three different women.

My lawyer's advice was, "Hey, you are single now. Act like it. Go out on dates. Have fun. Have all the sex you want to. I just don't want to hear about it." I followed that advice somewhat. I did date a few women. Some were great experiences, one horrible. The last one was phenomenal and still is.

I dated one woman I have known for a little while, one I just met, and one I met online. The one I met online and I went out for three weeks. Some parts were wonderful, some horrific. I sure learned a lot about life, relationships, and myself during that ordeal. That was about the time of the election. I was fairly depressed for the first three months after the split with the ex. The fourth month I really changed for the better, and that is a good thing.

Four months after Teresa left, I met a wonderful lady through match.com. She, too, had a marriage that went bad because of a cheating spouse. I actually had a lot in common with her ex in terms of work background, but that is about where the similarities stop. Oh, that and the first name beginning with the same letter.

Sharon has been the complete opposite of my ex in many ways. We have been pretty much inseparable since early December. She has a wonderful (now) five year old son named John. He calls me Mr. Troy, and we are close buddies.

Early on, Sharon and I knew where we were headed in our relationship. Just one week into the relationship, we were getting extremely close and were falling in love. Within two weeks, we both knew that we would eventually marry. We have been together for almost five months now. Her family thinks the world of me and I of them. Her mother already refers to me as her son-in-law rather than her daughter's boyfriend. My mom adores Sharon and John both, as she met them early this month. Everyone I know who has met Sharon has been highly complimentary of her and has absolutely fallen in love with her. I have been told how well I am doing this time around. Thank you, God for your grace and mercy on this big, old, loud guy who was so lonely and hurting.

Sharon brings many things I have prayed for, literally for years. Among them is the fact that she desires children. She has the one boy, but wants more, as do I. She is gainfully employed, which is always a plus. She works hard on the relationship. I have given her free reign in decorating my house, since it will eventually be hers. I have already remodeled two rooms in the past month or so, one of which is to be a bedroom for her son. I already have it decorated for a little boy. I also keep a lot of toys here at the house since John and Sharon spend a lot of time with me here.

We are expecting a wedding date in late September or early October. I already have the rings. We are both looking forward to moving on with our respective lives, blending together as one. We are also both looking forward to having a full family together, which has been my life's dream. I just wish that I did not have to wait until I was 40 to enjoy that.

Below are a few pictures taken earlier this evening at Chuck E. Cheese in Goldsboro, NC at their sketch pad machine of me with Sharon and John and Sharon.

OK, now you know. I was sitting on that information for months. I have kept silent on the advice of my lawyer until a contract was signed between me and the ex. That amongst several other reasons is why I have remained silent in this blog and on several other venues about some stuff.



2 comments:

Thunder Pig said...

May God you and your new family.

I was worried about you (due to your erratic posting), and am glad it worked out for you.

Thunder Pig said...

That last should read "May God Bless You"