Sunday, July 06, 2008

Stay out of marriages, saith Troy

There is always some self righteous jackass in government somewhere that wants to press his own version of Christianity on others. Remarkably, I have been attending a church for several months now and we just finished a study on the book of Galatians. The topic of self righteousness or false holiness came up a lot in the teaching.

There is one zealot in Texas who wants to make couples wanting to divorce in his state wait two whole years in order to get divorced. That is just plain wrong. Not every marriage is reconcilable. Nor is every marriage ending contrary to Biblical justification for divorce (ask me how I know). When God has a plan for and reasons for divorce that are acceptable to him, why should they not be acceptable to Warren Chisum? I can understand and applaud his standing by his convictions. I agree that more people should take marriage seriously. I did and I still do. That is why I stood by my wife for 13 straight years and why I am glad that said marriage is over. That is why I am going to marry a woman I adore in a few months. I highly value marriage as something sacred.

Where I disagree is putting someone's life on hold for two solid years because one partner in a marriage decides to bail out, commit adultery, or just not put in the effort to get along. It is inappropriate to punish both parties for the misdeeds of one person (ask me how I know). My life has been on hold for eleven months now because the State of North Carolina requires that I wait twelve full months to even file for divorce. In Texas, this time frame would be twice that, under Chisum's plan. He apparently believes that a two year waiting period would cause some to reconsider getting a divorce.

The one way around the two year waiting period would be for the couples to take a class designed to show them how to save their marriage. Basically, Chisum is playing Holy Spirit for people. It would be a class with whose values? It would be a class that according to some man's subjective viewpoint would potentially save the marriage. I have news for Chisum and all like him. Even Christians have to put up with the ways of the world and its effects upon their marriages. However, having the state play God for people, even though Romans 13 says that the government is the servant of God, is still wrong. Here is my own situation. My ex wife cheated and ran off with another man. I was left to deal with the fact that my marriage was over and take care of financial details and the consequences thereof. Just four months after the ex wife left, I met woman that God Himself put into my life. It was divine providence that we met, period. According to Mr. Chisum, we should not be allowed to marry in a timely fashion, we should wait until either some class is taken or until the two year time constraint is over. If God brought us together, who is man to constrain us, or to go against His will?

I am amused by the idea of taking classes put on by some bureaucrats as to how to be faithful to a spouse and maintain a marriage. Not every marriage should be continued, and God even makes such provision in His own Bible. I find it extremely arrogant and legalistic to impose such sanctions on marriages.

I say all this as one who does not believe in divorce. As much as I wished that I was single during the course of my previous marriage, I never did waiver until the line was crossed. There was adultery and abandonment in my marriage. There was the same in my future wife's marriage, as well. Who is Warren Chisum or any other man to tell me how to conduct my marital affairs?

One of the most heinous parts of this whole "take a marriage class" mentality is that I am paying for Texans to take such classes. They are paying for it with federal money.

No comments: