Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A few thoughts, trying not to be so depressed

I wrote a while ago about being a big brother/male role model for a tike I have gotten to know. I have gotten to know his mother fairly well, as well. She had some DVDs of video taken at different stages of his life by his grandmother on his father's side. I was watching one yesterday of him at 5 months. He was adorable then, too. But I could not take much of the video, since it was just footage of his parents and grandparents fawning over him, which was boring, but there was a more depressing aspect. Here I am about to turn 40 and I have never had children of my own. I wasted a dozen years of my life being fatherless. Now another one, resolving the marital issues. Even if I remarkably got married the day I got divorced, I would still have to wait another year before even thinking about having a baby, that is if I marry a nubile and fertile woman. I will be 41 by the time my first baby could even come out of the chute. Damn, that is depressing to me.

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