Monday, September 03, 2007

I know that I am not supposed to have a girlfriend, but I do anyway.

Yup, it's true. I was seeing someone just today. She is a bit younger than I am. OK, a LOT younger than I am. OK, so I am old enough to be her father. In fact, her father is a few years younger than I am. She is very attracted to me and I to her. She didn't want to leave me when we parted company earlier this evening, and I wish that I could have taken her home. She is just adorable to me.

All right, so she is just four years old, but I am in love with her anyway. My cousin by marriage, Misty, invited me to spend the day with her and her family. Her husband, David is just a couple of years younger than I am. They have two children, McKensie, 4, and Daniel, 2. Daniel is growing up so fast. He is getting huge and at half the age of his sister, he is almost bigger than she is.

McKensie was attached to me like Velcro all day. We walked around the mall together and she held my hand most of the time. When we walked in or out of a building, their apartment, or to a restaurant, McKensie kept asking me to hold her hand while we walked. It was so adorable. She is a little cutie, and I absolutely loved it.

McKensie and Daniel were showing me today what I have been yearning for, for many years now. I have wanted to be a daddy for so long, and especially of a little girl. When I see little girls, I want to start singing the song, "Thank Heaven for Little Girls". Sure, I want a son, too, but I have always had a soft spot for wanting a little girl. In my family, boys were always prevalent for some reason. My grandparents had four boys and my father had five. Two of my older brothers both have just boys. One older brother has two boys and a girl. My younger brother has one of each.

I am teary eyed as I type this, both in lamentation and in joy. I lament that I have not been given children at age 39. I rejoice in that my desire has not died and there is a glimmer of hope that someday I may still yet become a daddy. In the meantime, perhaps I can enjoy the relations I still have and have fun with Misty and David's crumb crunchers.

Psalm 127:3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.

1 comment:

The Buck said...

A Father heart runs in my family, Troy. My Dad married a widow and I have a technically half sister, but he was every bit a father to her as he was to me. When my son would date little sweeties, I fell in love with several of them and when my son married, he married a divorcee with a sweet little daughter he loves as his own. My former girlfriend's daughters are like my own. I love them in just that way.
It is good, however, that in this world where wrong is now considered right, that I never really had a daughter. I would hate to have to splatter some punk who didn't toe the line! I can just hear myself saying "Get your filthy hands off of her!" I even have to fight the urge in public when I see train wrecks about to happen.
There are way too many absentee fathers too busy with making sure they have that four car garage to give of themselves. The result is little girls looking for love in all the wrong places. Pity. It breaks my heart.