
I wrote a while ago about being a big brother/male role model for a tike I have gotten to know.  I have gotten to know his mother fairly well, as well.  She had some DVDs of video taken at different stages of his life by his grandmother on his father's side.  I was watching one yesterday of him at 5 months.  He was adorable then, too.  But I could not take much of the video, since it was just footage of his parents and grandparents fawning over him, which was boring, but there was a more depressing aspect.  Here I am about to turn 40 and I have never had children of my own.  I wasted a dozen years of my life being fatherless.  Now another one, resolving the marital issues.  Even if I remarkably got married the day I got divorced, I would still have to wait another year before even thinking about having a baby, that is if I marry a nubile and fertile woman.  I will be 41 by the time my first baby could even come out of the chute.  Damn, that is depressing to me.
 
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